Those many relationships, is the effort worth it?
During our journey of life one thing we come across are relationships. Relationships, I feel, are the building blocks of a society.
It all starts with our families and then progresses into friends, peers, acquaintances, teachers, bosses… and the list goes on.
We meet people everyday. Being a journalist, like me, means you have to deal with people all the time, from little kids to great grandmothers! Every person you come across, you deal with in a different way. Through work the relationships you build can either last through till you finish with your article or project or can last months.
Then there are the people you meet at work. Not just your work mates but, the cleaning staff, the peons, the security guys. They are all a part of the environment you work in, either directly or indirectly. You may even speak to people over the phone and may never really see their face but a relationship is built.
Sometimes not having even one of them around, leaves a vacuum in the day and you may not even realize why there seems to be something missing, and when you inquire you find out that one of the people who make your day, is missing or on leave.
Going back to the beginning of it all, your family. It consists of a whole heap of relationships and each of them varies from the other. From your father, to your mother to your siblings, every relationship differs. You approach each of them in different ways, from how you talk to them, to how you behave in their presence, to what you tell them. Having to deal with so many differences under one roof is not an easy task and so much happens. There will be times of fun and laughter to times of sadness and tears and arguments.
I guess no matter how bad things get, in time you realize that this is all training for facing the world out there. You may wonder, in fact many a time, why on earth the things that happen, actually, happen and why you fought with a family member in the first place and you realize that it has actually got lost in the argument itself!
That aside, as I mentioned earlier, you meet people all the time. The bonds you form may be for a brief moment while you are out socializing or they may be bonds that you form for a few months, or a few years or even a lifetime… you never really know.
In the process of building a steady relationship with someone there are many bumps that you hit along the way. It is never smooth sailing. And then you wonder if all you go through to maintain these relationships to keep them going, is going to be all worth it, in the end.
Say, you are good friends one day and something happens and you drift apart, will you not sit and wonder, where the relationship went wrong and why on earth you built this relationship up in the first place?
Somehow with family, the chances of things going wrong and drifting away is not always likely but with friends things can be different coz they always have the option of either making it work or letting it go.
Do you really know of the effort put in is worth it? Will you ever know?
In the journey of life what matters is the journey. Not the destination. In relationship what matters is not whether the effort is worth the while. The point is not to question whether the effort is worth it. If you want to make the effort you do. If you don’t you don’t. Its the effort that counts. In Islam what matters is the jihad. The struggle. The struggle of every day. And not to give up the struggle. You can take a break from it but you keep struggling and try not to question it.
So it is much easier and better not to question the journey, the effort, the struggle of life. It makes life more worthwhile and the value is in the effort, the struggle and the journey.
You are very insightful to raise these questions.
Comment by m — May 8, 2005 @ 1:43 am
Thanks ‘m’ for the comment you left on my blog. It certainly was a different way of looking at the many relationships in life. I understand that the struggle makes life and its many relationships all the more worthwhile and I will keep in mind that the effort counts especially if I want to put in that effort. In addition, I will remember that it is the journey and not the destination that really counts.
Your reference to Islam was also an eye opener.
Thanks once again.
Comment by Administrator — May 10, 2005 @ 4:21 pm
An introduction to 4G - Predicting Relationships
This post is designed to introduce some of the ideas surrounding 4G and its applications. In essence, 4G articulates and predicts relationships (Social Relationships) and culture (Social Groups) in a systematic and logical manner. Also present within 4…
Trackback by Value Added HR - Four Groups — June 7, 2005 @ 2:37 pm
Thanks for the effort… I went to the link that you had left, on “Value Added HR-Four Groups”. I would like to get in touch with you with regard to relationships. I always wonder and still wonder how much effor has to be put into the many relationships we make along the way. There is a particular relationship that I have been trying to work on and we have had good and bad times but we have never really been able to patch up things and move on. So the past in a sense keeps haunting us and now the friendship is left hanging in mid air. So do get in touch with me if you can. It would be very interesting to discuss.
Comment by Administrator — June 9, 2005 @ 1:41 pm
Relationships are the very essence of mankind. Man is most definitiely a social animal. It was working in groups that enabled the surivival of primitive man, under-equipped as he is physically against almost all other beasts, and social instincts are grounded deep within the human psyche.
Just witness the range of punishments based, essentially on social deprivation to some extent or another (imprisonment, small children being told to stand in corners, sending people to coventry etc) and you can see just how important these are.
Comment by Jack Point — September 17, 2005 @ 4:21 pm
Love gives purpose and meaning to our existence. That is why without it we cannot be complete. We need someone to complement us and to fill what is missing in us. The happiness that is brought by love and by loving a person is immense. Every effort then in a relationship is worth it.
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