Scribbles Galore

The last three weeks have been a mix of so many feelings for me.

Three weeks back, it was the trip to Negombo where my mates and I had a fabulous time.

Then the following Saturday, I met up with more or less the same crowd at a pub and the situation with my best friend was not too great. Which made the night not all that fabulous and it was driving me crazy. In fact the whole night sucked! But the next day we managed to sort issues out and things are relatively back to normal.

This weekend, I met the same lot… for the third week in a row, as we had a dinner at home and I invited them over and I had such a super time. My best friend and I were fine…

The next day, Sunday, he along with a few others came over to my place for lunch and it was so nostalgic. We had such a good time. It was as though nothing had changed. It was amazing

Going back to the second Saturday, it was one of the worst days I had been through in a long time. After eight months of torture within myself, I finally broke down and I broke down hard. I never knew that this thing with my best buddy and me had affected me so much. I never realized that I felt so strongly towards him and even now, I am so confused as to what I am actually feeling towards him.

Yes, we were very close and now we are not the same but the realization of all that, hit me only eight months down the line! Which was quite a shock for my system. I had two of my girlfriends with me in the bathroom of the pub! Three girls in a toilet cubicle! Imagine that!

Anyway, they managed to talk to me and calm me down. I was still so tired after the whole episode and I just wanted it all to end.

That was when I decided to talk to him and just sort everything out. My friends told me to just leave him and let it go. But I knew that we had to talk it out. Something inside me was telling me, that I had to talk to him. And we did. And it helped. I feel so much better now that things are pretty much in the open and relatively back to normal.

The last weekend was so great. We met on Saturday and Sunday. It was just like old times. And hanging out at home with him and all my friends was just so nostalgic.

It was in a sense, bitter - sweet. Bitter because I kept thinking of the good times and how things went bad between us. Sweet because, it was as thought things were normal again.

But still things are not totally normal. He himself told me so. He said that only time will tell if we can get back to the way we were but that the situation is fine now. I am glad we spoke and got that out of the way, coz it was driving me crazy for EIGHT whole months.

We have to pretty much start over again and it is not easy coz one mistake and ‘we’ will be part of history! It is like standing on shaky ground!

Building up a strained friendship again from pretty much, scratch, is no easy task. But we both want to make it work and be normal again.

The thing is, how long will it take? How often do we get second chances in life? Am I lucky that I have a second chance with him?

Should I be glad that we have the second chance to get back on track? What will this second chance hold for a strained friendship?