Facing those issues
It is amazing, this thing called life, I tell you! It is amazing how one day you are so upset about something and you feel as though the whole world has just come crashing down on you and just a few days later you feel as though you don’t want anything more in your life coz the little world you live in, is well… perfect!
Yes, I have heard many many many times that you go through a good patch and you go through a bad patch and that that is just the way life is. Nothing is ever one sided, the scale has to balance off.
I had been keeping in a few issues and not really sharing them, with my best girl friend. Somehow, when something bothers me, I just keep my mouth shut and one fine day, all everything will accumulate and something will trigger it off, and I will just blow up for no reason at all. This was pretty much what happened but I didn’t really blow up, instead I ignored my best buddy, coz I just did not feel like talking to her at the time! Yes, it was bad of me as a best friend to have done that, but that was just me… I was just not in the mood to talk about issues.
The next day though, I gathered all my thoughts and decided it was time to let everything, or at least most of the issues out and discuss them and try to sort them out as much as possible.
So I called her and we managed to get quite a few issues out of the way. We still have not got back to where we were but we do keep in touch, occasionally thanks of course to text messaging! We have still not got back to having our daily chats on the phone.
Without really discussing it, we have sort of created some space between us. I am hoping this is for the best and once we have sorted our issues, on our own, I hope that we can get back to what we were before things got sour.
It would be such a waste after all, to throw away a friendship, which has lasted a good seven years!
That was one issue but it did not go on for long coz we managed to talk things out. Well, like I said earlier, since the scale has to balance off… issues with my other best buddy were brewing up again. With the whole, “I don’t want you depending on me” scenario, I was quite annoyed with him.
We in fact, had a huge argument eight months ago and never really discussed things. We totally lost touch and I lost all hope of ever being friends with him again. Didn’t expect a thing from him. Not even for him to wish me on my birthday… but he did! I was in shock for a good three hours at least! This was in January of this year and since then we managed to keep in touch. But things never really seemed the same.
On February 10, this year, it was a year since we met and got really close. Yes! It was the day of the Bryan Adams concert. We actually got to talking that day and our friendship grew from that day on. Gosh! The months to follow were some of the most amazing of my life and I am still to come across having such bliss.
Somehow down the line things just got heated up and we drifted. But this year on February 10, I took it upon myself to try and get his point of view on this day and in a way, to my surprise, he had not forgot either. Man! It is amazing how much can happen in a year between friends. He admitted to it too.
We kept in touch but not too often. The distance was not too bad but I was feeling a bit lost, as I did not really know what was going on.
Had we forgot and moved on? Had we patched things up unknowingly? Or were we starting afresh?
I had NO clue!
Then the whole dependence thing happened and I was so mad with him coz I felt as though our friendship was in limbo. I am not good with these limbo phases in my life. So I wanted to show him what I was made of… or in this case, what I was not made up of!
So the next time we met I was a total and complete bitch towards him. I didn’t bother talking to him or saying ‘bye’ when we left. I think he was as much in shock as I was of my behaviour! He must have been thinking, “what the fuck is wrong with her?” and knowing him, him being the so not bothered person he is, he would have known that this was not me and that I would get over my bitchy attitude. Come to think of it, I think he would have thought it quite funny… (In fact, I learnt, when talking to him later that he thought I was being quite silly! He he he)
I knew that what I did was not really me. So I thought of talking things out and being adult about things.
So I called him the next day and to my surprise, he even answered the phone. The reason I was in shock was coz he didn’t bother answering when I called a few days before. He was a bit occupied so we were not able to talk.
But later that night, it may have been close upon 10pm, he text and then called me. And we had the longest chat in ages. I think it took a good two odd hours! The chat was so good coz we did not avoid issues, we talked them over and now I know that we are ok. We are not the same but he is convinced that time will sort us out for the best.
These are two of the closest people in the world to me, outside of my family, and I felt as though everything was crashing down on me when the relationships with my two best friends got so messed up. But it is amazing how facing the issues and then talking them out, can make a massive difference.
You have to be on the same page and you have to let those who you care for, know what is going on. You have to discuss things. It makes a world of a difference, as opposed to making up the solutions all alone, in your head.
Yes, you face ups and downs, but it is all a part of this path, which, I believe, is chosen for us, even before we are born.
The smartest is for us to learn from our mistakes and then face the issues we face. Half the battle is won then! Life is all about survival and we have to face the many issues (be them good or bad,) in our lives in order to survive!
