Scribbles Galore

A few weeks back a friend of mine went out for coffee with a friend. These two have not been friends for long and you could say that they were still getting to know each other. So this coffee meeting was just a part of the getting to know process, let’s say.

Close upon midnight, that night, she calls me, frantically, to get my opinion on whether she should have met up with him. So my advice was that she should really not think much about it, after all, there are no rules saying you are not allowed to have a cup of coffee with a friend? Or are there?

You see, she had met him through a mutual friend and he was also friends with her girlfriend’s boyfriend. So she (the girlfriend) was worried that this was not the best company to keep because, she feels that he has, well, ulterior motives as he is considered a bit of a flirt.. Also her girlfriend was worried that this latest thing would be discussed with her boyfriend’s clique.

Fair enough, she is concerned about her friend and is only looking out for her well being… But, is it fair to make such a harsh judgment? Can this girl not make friends and meet them. And can these men not think her an interesting and nice person? Is she not capable of being friends with this species from Mars?

Today too, he asked her out for coffee and she thought ‘what the heck’ and met up with him. It was a very casual meeting and she really did not read much into it, she said. Until of course she saw her girlfriend’s boyfriend, who didn’t seem too pleased when he saw them together.

When I heard this, I was not too thrilled because, at the end of the day, this was her life and it was not really fair for others to make judgment. Yes, you can’t really stop people from judging you but she was just meeting up with a friend, who happened to be a male of course. But what is the harm in it?

This was her best friend she was worried about. This was the person she thought she could tell everything to and not be judged for what she was doing. She so disliked people who were judgmental because, she was not like that. She hardly reads into things. She takes life pretty much as its comes and lives each day to its fullest. So until her friend told her she was not really making the right choice, she didn’t really think anything about meeting this guy.

Is it fair that she has to always worry about the choices she makes? Was it really up to her friend to make such a judgment?

Yes, we live in a traditional society. Where at every turn, we are scrutinized. But are we not entitled to do as we choose as far as our private lives our concerned, as long as it does not affect anyone else? As humans are we not given the right to decide for ourselves and make mistakes and learn as we go along? Why is it that every time you make a choice to do something, so many opinions are bound to come crashing down on you? And so many judgments are passed? Are we still governed by society and the unwritten rules that society has set upon us?