Scribbles Galore

In response to my girlfriend Iroms… After much thought I had to agree that, yes, there are some really nice Lankan boys out there. I myself have had the pleasure of knowing quite a few of them.

Men have been in and out if my life. But I have found good friends in a few males.

I must take my work mate YB as an example. I have to hand it to him that he has survived very well in a female dominated environment. Most often, we don’t even realize he is around when we discuss the everyday issues of women.

He has the ability to listen to us and respect us. Which is rather rare. He does have his own way, most of the time but he is like a little brother to me and to all of us at work.

Last October was a friend’s birthday and a close friend of hers, male of course, let her down big time. When he heard what this guy did, he said that it is men like this guy that makes him wish he were not male. This was not the exact language he used… but that was the bottom line! Now he is one male who I am glad to have met.

Then there comes a very very close friend. We were really close. Would talk for hours everyday, meet when possible, watch movies, yes, we were very close. He even helped me out through some very rough times. We drifted apart due to many reasons but I guess the bond was always there. And then, when we finally met, after a LONG lapse, things were not too bad after all. He seems the same still, which I am really glad about. We were at the Royal Thomian a few weeks back and it was as though nothing had changed. He acted around me the same as he did before we had that huge fight.

He too is one guy I am so happy that I came across. He is so descent, respectful and in his own ways, caring too. I know I can trust him with my life. He has always been able to make me think and put me in my place when I have needed an eye opener.

I am so glad that he is in my life even in a small way. I know I can count on him at any time. We may not talk, meet up and watch movies as often as we used to but still, the friendship remains. And that is what matters in the end.

Then there are a few others who I meet up occasionally and talk to when possible. They are not half bad either. Actually, they are not bad at all!!!

Hmmm… come to think of it, apart from the random frustrated asshole on the road or at a club or a pub, the men I know are actually not too bad!!!

Even though the Martians from abroad may sometimes come across as more appealing, the Martians here in Lanka are up there with the them!!! They are my friends and they always will be. I don’t think I will ever want anything more out of them.

Cheers guys!!!

I have always wondered how I’d react if I met a really good looking, intelligent and friendly guy… Well, I was put to the test today. And I think I passed with flying colours!!

Before I start slandering Lankan men in general… I want to say that, even among the many perverts and assholes… there are a few worthwhile Lankan boys as well.

Anyway, back to my story… My friend insisted that I have an early lunch and join her and a few friends, to go out for lunch. I agreed, saying I’d sit with them and have a glass of juice. Two of our other work mates also joined in, along with another girlfriend. Basically, there were five gals.

We were not told anything more. So at half past 12, she gathered her troops and we headed to the entrance of our office… and who do we meet… not one, but TWO pretty darn good looking guys. Yes, we were amazed! To say the least… but what topped it all off, was that they were so friendly.

One incident, which stuck with me, was when we had to get a tuk tuk. Since there were six of us, we had to get two tuk tuk’s. The girls were to go in one, like we always do and one girl and the two boys were to go in another, but one of them insisted that there should be one guy in each tuk tuk… Was that sweet or what?? How often do our Lankan boys even bother to think that way? With guys like them, chivalry is never really dead…!!!

Here we were, meeting for the first time and it was as though, we had been friends for ages. We got along like a house on fire.

They were so open to the suggestions we made and we spoke on various topics. It was so interesting, and there was not a moment in which any of us felt uncomfortable or left out. It was a simple meeting but we had so much fun.

What makes these guys who come down from abroad so much more different to the Martians we have here in Lanka?

Well… they do dress well, they are more courteous, they respect us more, they even smell so good! Which makes the image linger… much much much longer…

After we got back to work, we were all discussing these two guys and why on earth they stand out…

Is it because they are more refined? And because they respect women more? Is it that they don’t read too much into situations? What was it that made us feel so comfortable with these complete strangers??

Seriously…What is it???

There are many people we meet when we come into this world. The first people we meet are our parents. Then our siblings, uncles, aunts, grand parents, cousins etc etc…

School starts, and then we meet our teachers and make friends. Most often these friends, who we meet in school, are the ones who end up sticking by us through it all. We spend our lives, from the ages of 2 ½ to 19, in school. This is taking into account Montessori of course. The people we meet come from various backgrounds, think differently, talk differently… they are oh so different than your family.

But what makes us adjust to these diverse people? Humans by instinct cannot survive alone. This is where socializing comes into play. So we get to know these people, subsequently form small cliques and realize that we have common ground. Sometimes, the common ground builds up and these friendships last for years.

But this post is dedicated to my dearest girlfriend and to a few other girlfriends in general.

My best friend and I have been fiends since the age of 14. It was really by chance that we became friends actually. She was crazy about a cricketer. I heard about this and me being a fan as well, told her that I can arrange for us to meet him. (Yes, I know it sounds silly… cricket groupies and all… )

Well, I did arrange the meeting and my mother picked her up from her place. My mother actually had no idea who this girl was but she just felt she had to pick her up anyway and she was also in the neighbourhood.

So, she came to my place for the first time and we did meet this cricketer, took photographs and got his autograph as well. After all this, we left the hotel and my father dropped her home as well!

It was actually from this day on that our friendship blossomed and since then, we have pretty much been through it all… Our first boyfriends, the unforgettable ‘first kiss’ experience, broken hearts, our first jobs, getting into university… you name it… and we have discussed it. My mother even considers her extended family! They even go shopping together… without me!

There is nothing we don’t talk about. We even have these huge fights but we somehow manage to make up.

I think it is the fact that, even though we can be very different, at the same time, we can be very much alike and we accept each other for the way we are. Before words can be said, just by the tone of each other’s voices or the way we act, we just know what each other is thinking. It really is an amazing feeling, I tell you.

In fact, today, I was just thinking that I should call her as soon as I was done ironing my clothes for the following day. Just a few minutes after this crossed my mind, I heard my phone ringing. It is funny, she was saying that she was just lying in bed, and was falling asleep but something had told her to call me. And she did!

We are convinced that we have a very strong connection, almost telepathic actually. She is like a mother to me. Always wanting to shelter me from the world, she has all these dreams for me. She is so protective of me. I on the other hand am the easy going one, who takes time to listen and sort things out.

There is nothing that can hurt us because we have just grown from strength to strength. We bring out the best in each other and love each other dearly. I love you my dearest friend and there is nothing I would change between us!!

Then come my other friends. We have fallen out, sorted things out, gone out into the world and met quite a number of people but realized that at the end of the day, we actually have each other.

I was chatting with a really close friend over MSN and she was telling that she feels so secure when she is with my best friend me and. The three of us have been through a lot as friends as well. When she said this to me, I had tears in my eyes.

Then there are the girlfriends you meet at work. Your work mates are the ones you spend a good six to seven hours a day with, each week, for months and even years. So there is a definite connection you will form. They are the friends who help you get through your day at work. Especially when you have had a rough time with your boss, or an assignment out of hell, they will be the first to be there and help you through it. We see the worst of each other but still, mange to stick together.

So many people come and go and there is a saying that no matter what, you are alone in this world but I don’t think so, I think with friend like these, you never really are alone…

I received a text today in fact, which, I feel, aptly describes how important friends are… “the Dictionary is the only place where Death comes before Life, Success comes before Work and Divorce before marriage but Friends comes before Relatives and THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE!”

Once you have been through a rough patch, in time you get over the whole thing. Most often, things never go back to the way they were. So you have to close that chapter of your life and move on. But sometimes, yes, sometimes, if you are lucky… things can go back pretty much to the way they were before you hit rock bottom.

Once you have accepted what happened and things finally settle down, how do you actually deal with the situation?

Say, you get hurt in the process and you tell yourself you will never make the same mistakes again, like letting your guard down and trusting so easily how do you face the new scenario?

In my mind, I will never forget the pain I had to endure with regard to a friendship but now when I meet my friend and talk to him it is as though things never went wrong in the first place. He acts as though we have always been ‘best buddies’.

He wants to forget the nasty patch and move on. Should I do the same? After what happened I told myself I will never to ‘let go’ again. Is this the correct approach? Do I ignore everything and go with the flow and act as though nothing actually happened and open a new chapter and accept the current situation as it is?

Are these all a part of the ups and downs of life, where you win some you lose some? Do I risk getting hurt again and allowing those healed wounds to get festered again? Or do I hold on to the good times and remember, in spite of everything that he was a good friend to me and just be glad that I still have a dear friend to hold on to? Should I be glad that he is back in my life in some way or the other?

“You have one huge arse girl… has anyone ever told you that?”

Hearing this, I was not really sure what to say or how to react.

After saying this my friend then remembered to say that he did not by any means insult my humungous arse, but said that it was actually quite ‘sexy’! ha ha…

In Lankan society, such comments or in this case compliments, come by quite rarely. Most often if a guy says something of the sort, it is most likely to be a loser on the road who ogles at you and looks at you as though you have dropped from space. They act as though they have not seen this species called ‘female’, in their entire lives!!

Well, getting back to my friend and this issue…

I wonder how many people actually voice what they feel. Compliments come by so rarely. I feel in this society most often people find it easier to criticize than to actually say something favourable about a person.

In fact I have found myself doing the same thing so many times It is so rare that we can say something nice about someone. Thus, the question arises…is it human nature to criticize?

I have come across quite a number of men in my life and I have hardly ever heard a compliment come out of their mouths… Is it because they do not like to say what is on their minds due to the consequences that they may have to endure? Or are men just in general oblivious to what is around them?

This friend of course is very open and says what he feels. Nothing and no situation stops him… I must admit that it is quite refreshing to have met this guy. And no, I do not expect random men to check my arse out and tell me it is huge…

So the question is, do you, or do you not… just say it???

Just when you think you know people well, you will be surprised as to how little you know them. Take for example a situation where you find out a close family friend is cheating on his wife or she is cheating on her husband…

Do these people not have a thing called a conscience? Especially if he is the father or if she is the mother of your children?

Taking into the consideration the new partner, does this person not realized that he or she is breaking a family? Would this person want to be a part of a broken family? What makes them want to be a part of such a mess?

Now, looking at the children… because, no matter what, the poor child has got to be taken into consideration. At the end of the day, it is not just the two people in the marriage, the child or children get involved as well.

As a child, the centre of his universe is his family. There is nothing more important than feeling safe and secure within that little world called ‘family’. Then when the child learns that this little world, this source of strength and security is falling apart, it is said to be the worst feeling in the world.

With so much pain being spread why on earth do fathers and mothers do this?

What really makes people cheat on their partners and also put their children in the middle of it all? Why are people so selfish?

Once you make a vow to be with your partner for the rest of your life, to love, care, share, till death do you part and all the rest of it, what on earth would make you break all these promises?

Is it man’s animal instinct, which makes him give into the hands of temptation? Or is he just selfish?

Just a note to say that yes, there are times when friends actually do not pick up the phone and that they do have their reasons for it.

With regard to my previous post on “Looks like men really are from Mars…”, my friend actually did contact me a few days later. His phone had been disconnected…

In my defence, it is not that I suspect people but there are so many ways of contacting someone if you really want to take the trouble to do so… thus, you cannot blame those of us from Venus when we are confused as to why those of you from Mars don’t keep in touch… Or at least try to…

A few weeks back a friend of mine went out for coffee with a friend. These two have not been friends for long and you could say that they were still getting to know each other. So this coffee meeting was just a part of the getting to know process, let’s say.

Close upon midnight, that night, she calls me, frantically, to get my opinion on whether she should have met up with him. So my advice was that she should really not think much about it, after all, there are no rules saying you are not allowed to have a cup of coffee with a friend? Or are there?

You see, she had met him through a mutual friend and he was also friends with her girlfriend’s boyfriend. So she (the girlfriend) was worried that this was not the best company to keep because, she feels that he has, well, ulterior motives as he is considered a bit of a flirt.. Also her girlfriend was worried that this latest thing would be discussed with her boyfriend’s clique.

Fair enough, she is concerned about her friend and is only looking out for her well being… But, is it fair to make such a harsh judgment? Can this girl not make friends and meet them. And can these men not think her an interesting and nice person? Is she not capable of being friends with this species from Mars?

Today too, he asked her out for coffee and she thought ‘what the heck’ and met up with him. It was a very casual meeting and she really did not read much into it, she said. Until of course she saw her girlfriend’s boyfriend, who didn’t seem too pleased when he saw them together.

When I heard this, I was not too thrilled because, at the end of the day, this was her life and it was not really fair for others to make judgment. Yes, you can’t really stop people from judging you but she was just meeting up with a friend, who happened to be a male of course. But what is the harm in it?

This was her best friend she was worried about. This was the person she thought she could tell everything to and not be judged for what she was doing. She so disliked people who were judgmental because, she was not like that. She hardly reads into things. She takes life pretty much as its comes and lives each day to its fullest. So until her friend told her she was not really making the right choice, she didn’t really think anything about meeting this guy.

Is it fair that she has to always worry about the choices she makes? Was it really up to her friend to make such a judgment?

Yes, we live in a traditional society. Where at every turn, we are scrutinized. But are we not entitled to do as we choose as far as our private lives our concerned, as long as it does not affect anyone else? As humans are we not given the right to decide for ourselves and make mistakes and learn as we go along? Why is it that every time you make a choice to do something, so many opinions are bound to come crashing down on you? And so many judgments are passed? Are we still governed by society and the unwritten rules that society has set upon us?

This year’s Royal Thomian Cricket encounter was supposed to have been held on a low key but that was certainly not the case on Day two of the 126th Battle of the Blues! These boys and men sure know how to have a good time even in a restricted environment.

The organizers had been asked to not have the famous papare bands and to not sell alcohol. It was not even called a ‘Big match’ but simply a ‘Cricket match’, this year! With the help of sponsors money was being raised for tsunami aid as well.

In fact on the first day when I was walking to the grounds, it didn’t even feel like a big match without the famous baila and papare music playing.

But the fun was certainly not forgotten to these Royalists and Thomians and of course the many visitors who were at the match.

They were asked not to sell alcohol, instead most opted to bring their own ‘refreshments’ and on day two there was even a DJ in one of the tents, so there was music and everyone was having the time of their life. Day one was not as high-spirited. I suppose they were just getting warmed up for the two days, which lay ahead of them.

What makes the Royal Thomian Big Match so ‘Big’??? Hmmm… Yes, it is the prestige of the two schools, who have been playing this match for the past 126 years, thus making this the oldest inter-school cricket match in the world, in fact not even the world war could stop them… but there is more than just cricket here. Come to think of it, while these cricketers play, how many actually focus on the field from 9am to 6.30pm???

Yes, there is definitely more to this than just cricket…

These are three days where the schoolboys have two days off from school and can spend time waving their respective or even both school flags while the runs are being scored and the wickets are being taken. But it is more three days where the older boys and men get to drink as much as they want and be totally care free. Nothing, and I mean nothing external seems to worry them. They are there to just be themselves and be with their mates and dance, shout, cheer or jeer whichever team they support or are against and have pure fun.

In fact, one of my mates had taken it upon himself to give a ‘moral boost’, to the batsman of the rival team, walking into the grounds, and once he was out, he boosted the poor batsman’s ‘morale’ even more! He proudly did this as each batsman walked on to the grounds and walked back into the dressing room as well!

I have been to quite a few cricket matches but I doubt that any of them actually have the same spirit and enthusiasm that this match has.

Apart from the boys from the two schools, many young lasses and families are seen at these matches as well. What makes them want to come? The reasons can vary. For the families of course, if your dad is an old boy of either school then you have a free ticket to be a part of the atmosphere. But if that is not the case, you can just come and be a part of the atmosphere anyway. There are no rules here, the rules in fact as one of my friends kept reminding me while I was there, was to ‘have fun, smile, drink and dance!’

My dad is not an old boy of either school, thus the only connection I had to this match is that my friends are from one of the schools, which gave me a perfect excuse to be at the match, and of course a good chance to get off work early, (after finishing my quota for the day of course) and hop a tuk tuk to be at the grounds!

While I was there, I could not help but see what a good time my mates were having. Without a care in the world and irrespective of who was around, they danced and sang their cares away. It was so nice to see them not worry about reality for those few hours. It is amazing to see these people having so much fun and supporting their schools. It is as though they never left college in the first place. The atmosphere is really out of this world. You have got to be there at least once in your life to witness this event because there is actually none like it.

So with one more day to go, I wonder what the outcome of the match will be? Will it be a draw as usual or will there be a result? We’ll just have to wait for day three and see. But at the end of the day, the result is not what really matters it is the unity and fun and the memories that they have, as they walk away from the SSC, at the end of the match, on Saturday.

Is it just me… or are males so very confusing?

One minute they act like your best friend and the next minute they treat you as though you don’t even exist.

I met a friend a few weeks back (from the male species of course) after a long lapse. We both had busy schedules thus, had been unable to keep in touch.

This being a Saturday and a rather warm and lazy day, I was bored so here I was thinking that I should give him a call and I do. I call twice and he does not pick up. I send him a text a few minutes later and tell him that I called and its not an emergency or anything and I just wanted to have a chat. Yes, he should figure out from this facility called ‘CLI’ that it was I, who had called… still… since he is a ‘male’, I thought that I should just jolt his brain!

This was around 6pm. It is nearly 10pm and still not response…

So here I am thinking hard, if I have possibly done anything wrong but nothing comes to mind. The last time I checked, calling a friend was not a crime!!!

They say that women say one thing and mean another, but it looks men have the same problem. I mean, when he says that we have not talked or met up in ages, I take it upon myself to call him and catch up. But he bloody well ignores my calls and text.

Missing the call once is one thing but twice, and then not responding to a text… hmmm… rather dodgy… or so I think!

What is with the male species? Do they need a lesson, in telling the truth versus saying what THEY feel is the right thing to say, at that moment? Do they always want to be the good guys?