Maiia sat there stunned now knowing what had just hit her. She was not sure whether she wanted to cry or be angry. A few days ago they were fine. Or so she thought. They were as close as two platonic friends could be. But what just happened was pretty much a blur.
The friendship blossomed in February that year. It was a modern friendship you can say with text messages and e-mails being the main modes of communication. Everyday at work at least six or seven text messages and four to five e-mails were exchanged between Maiia and him. They were pleasant days. Maiia would look forward to those fun e-mails, which kept her entertained through the day and even gave her something to look forward to.
He finally got his mobile phone and e-mailed Maiia the number and asked her to contact him when she found the time.
That night while she was chatting with a friend, he kept giving her missed calls and she was not really sure why. So she told her friend, who suggested that Maiia should call him. So she did and this was how the phone conversations began. They would last for two to three hours and so many things were discussed. From daily happenings to likes and dislikes, friends and foods… you name it… it was discussed.
Maiia considered those days, as days in which she was building a friendship that would last a lifetime, even though she knew, deep inside that nothing lasted forever.
Those days fell nothing short of amazing to her.
Maiia was not someone who trusted people easily but when she liked someone the trust came easily. All the guards were let down and the heart opened and welcomed this new person with open arms. And he was one of them.
They would meet up occasionally as well. In fact a few months later out of nowhere he called her asked her to come to the front gate of her office and when she went down, there he was. When she asked him why he was there, he said he was just passing through and thought of saying ‘Hi!’ It was not much, but it was one of the sweetest things a friend had done for her. Nothing could have spoilt her mood after. She was all smiles the rest of the day.
And so the days went by. There was not really much that bothered them except, of course Maiia’s insecurity.
She was worried that she was putting too much into the friendship and that it was too good to be true. It was then that the cracks started appearing. As the doubt grew within her, she took it out on him. Always questioning why he would do this or that, or say this or that. She began doubting the friend who she knew was nothing more than a genuine friend to her and who did care for her so much. She would always question him, asking him if he really did care for her… And at times, this calm guy would get annoyed but being the sort of person he was, he just let it pass. He did not let things get to him easily.
Why was there so much doubt in Maiia? The saying that ‘nothing lasts forever’, was that getting to her? Was she falling in love with him? Was that why she started doubting him?
These are probably questions she will never find answers to.
Their happy world seemed to fall apart little by little. He was human too and there was only so much of the doubt that he could take and one day, he mentioned female friend and bang! The fireworks began. As crazy as it sounds, she could not believe that he had other close female friends.
Accusations were made. Nasty words were exchanged.
He kept telling her nothing was wrong and that she was just being paranoid. He told her that she is as much a friend to him as this other girl.
But why was Maiia so bothered anyway? He being the calm and cool person he was, he managed to calm her down. Maiia went to bed, with a relatively calm mind.
Somehow the next morning she awoke with a lot of anger within her. So she called her friend and said that she felt rather cheated as he had not told her about this other friend. Her friend agreed that Maiia’s feelings were right and that she should just tell him to get a life.
This advice was taken.
She kept messaging him the whole day. Telling him that… he had taken her on a ride. That he was insensitive… etc.
He didn’t want to be part of this madness so he told her that he would rather stay out of her life than let her hurt the way she is hurting now. And that was it.
When Maiia’s mind had cleared a few days later, she realized that she had been really unfair. And decided to sort things out. It took a lot of convincing, but Him being so understanding, he listened and they were ok. Things went relatively back to normal but the wounds were still not healed… completely.
Their relationship was ok…
Somehow, that day was a blur though. Maiia had, had a long and tiring day at work and she called him but he did not answer his phone. She messaged him and there was no reply.
About an hour later he did pick up and she snapped at him asking him why he did not answer. He blew up and told her that he just did not feel like it. He did not feel like talking to her. He wanted ‘space’ from the relationship or friendship or whatever it was that they had.
She was in shock and hung up on him. Not knowing what had just hit her.
She thought they were fine. But the wounds had never healed.
Is this what doubt brings? Is this what happens when you put your heart and soul into something? Do you end up expecting way too much from people? Do you build up something, and then when you get to the top just realize that it was inevitable that you had to fall down eventually?
Where did it all begin and where did it all end? She sat there and wondered.
She hated herself for allowing her insecurities get to her, as it was these insecurities, which made her lose a close friend. Forever.
Or can she still cling to hope? They were really close friends after all and once the heart bonds, that bonding will always be there in some form or the other. They shared a lot and cared for one another and at the drop of a hat she would do anything for her dear friend. And she knows he will do the same. So hope… yes… hope is what will get her through… And she ‘hopes’ that it is the same for him…
